To give, or not to give?

Probably the most stewed over question for those travelling/living in developing countries. To give or not to give to beggars?

I've been overwhelmed by the number of children, disabled and very old begging here in Chittagong. I think I've tried everything, keep a straight face and keep walking and try to ignore them. Give money to the disabled only. Give food to children, not money. Acknowledge them, smile and say no. Only give food to individuals not when they are in groups.  I know not one of them is the 'right thing' to do. And I know that you don't feel better about the situation by doing any.

Fatima wearing the Salwar Kameez my friend gave her

But a friend here has really inspired me to do what you can with those who God has placed in your path. Not money, but sometimes just a smile and acknoledgement. One of the best things about living in a place is that you get into routines, and you can form relationships. My friend has been passing Fatima, (the crippled beggar above) every Friday on her way to church for the past month. Fatima can only walk on all fours, due to a leg/ hip deformity. One time my friend was just smiling and started chatting to Fatima when she was passing, when Fatima said that she would really like a new outfit. So the next week my friend bought an old Salwar Kameez to give to her.

She was so touched that she insisted that my friend visit her house the next Friday afternoon for lunch so that she could say thank you.

So on Friday, three bideshis (a few of us were invited for moral support!) trekked out with Fatima and her daughter on a rickshaw to her home for lunch. (I was pretty nervous in that rickshaw ride!)

When we arrived It was humbling beyond words as Fatima and her husband cooked us a big meat curry, bought sprite from the shop for us to drink, and fanned us down when they saw we were pooled in sweat.

The rest of the housing community area were in disbelief that we actually turned up! Most of the community were outside the door for the few hours we were inside visiting.

Bangladesh is a country of 150+ million people, and two thirds are living in poverty - it's totally impossible to give to everyone. But seeing the life and generosity of just one has softened my heart, and given me a little understanding of the power not of giving money, but friendship and love.
It was a pretty special afternoon.